Not counting whether you prefer to work or not, the question is do you feel safe with depending on the income of someone else?  

I think I don't. This could be the sort of "control freak" tendency in me, but I don't feel completely comfortable unless I can depend on myself. It's not that I fear that anything will go wrong, but I just don't feel entirely secure unless I know that I've got everything I need.  

I'm mostly curious about how girls will answer, but this isn't a gender-equality question.

Feel free to move it to another forum, but i don't want it to drown in dtrm.

Post edited at 8:22 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 by tell me again

Post edited at 8:22 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 by amazingness99

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I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.

I love NoNoNora383 more than she loves meee! ♥

The very idea disgusts me.

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Butter Pecan Puerto Rican,or them Oatmeal Raisin Asians.
Hazelnut Brazilians, Macadamia Caucasians,
Double stuffed or thin mint It don't matter you gettin' it,
Cause I got a sweet tooth that will never come loose...

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No, I would not. I mean, I'd feel safe if I loved the guy, but I wouldn't be happy.

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I'm only asking about whether you feel safe.

Even if I trust the guy wholeheartedly and believe that the relationship will last for the rest of my life, I don't think I will feel totally comfortable with depending on him. (I know that's not "logical")

It's not about whether you'll be happy - that'd be a gender/personal-goals thing.

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No. I was raised to be able to take care of myself. I refuse to sit at home with someone's spawn and just breed and cook and clean and if we separate I have nothing.

The very idea disgusts me.

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Why are you taking it like a feminist/gender issue? Or are you just stating your opinion anyway even though it's slightly different from my question?

I could feel safe, if I trusted that my husband were a hard worker and had job security, and if all our basic needs were met. Food on the table, bills paid, etc.

I sort of equate money with power, though. And if one spouse is making all the money, they have all of the power. Though eventually I'd like to be a stay-at-home mother, I'd be uncomfortable with the fact that every bit of money coming into the household was technically his. I would feel like I'd have to ask for permission every time I wanted to buy something.

Post edited at 8:28 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 by Innuendo Girl

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Hmm. I'm unsure.

I sort of equate money with power, though. And if one spouse is making all the money, they have all of the power. Though eventually I'd like to be a stay-at-home mother, I'd be uncomfortable with the fact that every bit of money coming into the household was technically his. I would feel like I'd have to ask for permission every time I wanted to buy something.

Edit: Guess I missed the feeling safe issue. Gimme a sec to think about that one.

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Even if you knew he would happily spend any amount for you?

Btw, let's all construct an ideal relationship for the purpose of this question.